六月 (6/12)

Twenty-fifth of June, under a burning sun I just joined a group of people I have never met before on the terrace of a famous Italian restaurant in Suzhou. I am used to local food so this is my first time in this place. Today is the birthday of 木子 (Mùzi), and I just met Robert who has been organising a surprise for her. This sympathetic short American-Brazilian is running around while I introduce myself to the other guests. All these foreigners met a few months ago, as Mùzi and Mister 峰 (Fēng), her business partner, organised mountain hikes around Suzhou. This homogeneous group of English teachers and engineers is hyper friendly so I easily find my way as the only ex-lawyer mandarin learner. I am amazed by this place. Located at the JinJi lake side, the restaurant definitively kicks a home feeling, as well as the Prosecco the waiters are serving while we are waiting. Mùzi finally arrives with Mister Fēng and Robert goes first to welcome them. A few moments later, the rest of the group flows into the restaurant to surprise her. She loves it.

Earlier this month, I met Mùzi around a coffee at Starbucks. From her cold way of texting, I was not expecting to see a girl running and waving at me when she sees me in front of the coffee place. She takes a latte, offers me an americano and we sit around a tiny high table. I am surprised of the girl sitting in front of me. Taller than the average Suzhou girl, together with her black short and leopard loose shirt, her hairstyle makes her look rebellious. Far from the traditional and serious Chinese teacher I was expecting. Mùzi is teaching Chinese to foreigners but since the pandemic started she has been working with Mister Fēng on a Chinese learning mobile application. They are now looking for foreigners to make podcasts and this is how I ended up here. No more than thirty minutes were required to close the deal. The conversation does not extend too much as she has to go back to work. In the middle of Suzhou’s business skyscrapers, I wave at the leopard girl walking back to her e-bike.

The next morning, Mister Fēng picks me up in front of my residence in its modern Suzuki. I am immediately at ease with this energetic and sympathetic forty plus years old man. He decided to launch his own cake stores chain a few years ago and has now four cake stores around Suzhou, but over the last months business is extremely bad. He knew Mùzi before as they are from the same place, Dōngběi province, the north eastern part of China that has a border with North Korea. This area, known to be economically late, is also famous for the warmth of its people, the generosity of its food and for its extreme winter. Tourists will already know the International Ice and Snow Sculptures Festival of Harbin. With his business going down and no option to make it better at the moment, Mister Fēng had the idea to combine his entrepreneurial spirit with Mùzi’s expertise to launch a teaching Chinese application.

On the way we pick-up Mùzi who is waiting in front of her residence, eating some bāozi (meat stuffed buns) as breakfast. Now is the time for the questions about me. Why would you leave a lawyer job ? Your country is so developed, why would you move to China? Why would you learn mandarin? What are your goals? Those questions could actually be asked by anyone around the world that does not have an adventurous spirit. All those questions can be summarised into one: when you reached a safe position in a safe environment, why leaving it? Because I have the luxury to pursue what I like and to have an adventurous spirit. Some other questions are also common here: Why do you only study Chinese? Most of the foreigners I met are working and studying Chinese once a week. Ninety percent of them will never exceed a beginner level. Why don’t you teach English? Suzhou has a lot of foreigners teaching English in language centres. Fun fact is that a good part of them is non-native as the main criteria is your face, not your English level. Parents are ready to pay gold for having a teacher with a white face teaching their kids. This gives rise to a bunch of non-natives earning double than a Chinese teacher with a master degree in English literature. Why don’t you do modelling jobs? The Chinese beauty standards give the pervert effect that white westerners are adulated: tall, big and coloured eyes, white skin, long legs, etc. I have seen so many westerners, which would not qualify as “attractive” in the West, ending up in advertisements and videos, just because they are white. Asia can be an ego-booster for some.

We spend the next three days recording podcasts. Thanks to this experience, I am now aware that my voice sounds terrible and after these days they do not call me to record anymore, because they “changed of plan”. Sure. Still, Mister Fēng invites me to restaurants to discuss their project. The overly friendly man treats me, offers me gifts and we discuss the company’s ambitions. He needs encouragement and a foreigner’s point of view. Two days before Mùzi’s surprise birthday party, Mister Fēng invites me to his apartment, where his wife, also from Dōngběi province, prepared quantities of dishes. All looking weird to me. I brought some fruits and a bottle of wine as presents. This is from that moment that I know that Mister Fēng is a devout Buddhist. He explains me his life when he was working at a public position, twenty kilos bigger he used to spend his free time out with friends, smoking, drinking and gambling. One day he decided to change and at the same time he started exploring Buddhism. From that day on, he quit his government job, lost a lot of weight and stopped drinking. He is still struggling with smoking. We talk about the project but also about my life as Mister Fēng only recently started interacting with foreigners. His English is poor, my Chinese is ok, we are doing our best. He decides to break the rule for once and have a glass of wine with me when he arrives to the goal of today’s reunion: offering me a job in the start-up. I will be helping them making the business known by foreigners.

Mùzi is shining. She is wearing a colourful summer dress which should be offering her shoulders and arms. I conclude that it is her Asian seemliness that pushed her to add a white undershirt to avoid revealing too much of her bust. While I am having a great lot of fun, starting the third Aperol Spritz with two young americans around me, I observe Mùzi from distance. Like a queen with her servants, she is surrounded by boys anticipating the slightest of her needs. Not that she is requesting it, but rather that they are fighting for it. Robert, the American-Brazilian who organised everything sits right in front of her. If I did not know her I would believe he is her husband as all his attention is focused on her. On her left is a funny Italian guy who, between two monologs, cracks a joke to Mùzi and takes this opportunity to leave his hands all around. I actually enjoy this spectacle which turns into a kind of comedy where guys fight for attention. I am not sure on my interest for her yet and today is a great test as I would not fall for a girl that falls for this kind of courting.

“You should try it“, am I repeating. “You should not do this”, insists Robert. After the restaurant, most of us headed to a Havana party happening on the only rooftop I know in Suzhou. I am wearing a bright red shirt that attracts all the Chinese people’s compliments. They love red, a lucky colour in Chinese culture. Rachel, an american party animal bought tequila shots to celebrate Mùzi’s birthday and we are all ready to take it. Mùzi never tried in her life and she is hesitating. Finally she goes for the new experience. The shot hits way harder than I expected and she is now sitting on a coach, unable to get up. I realise now that “drinking ability” is a real think, and that training is necessary. Mùzi took out her white undershirt and she now looks ten times sexier. She took it out when Mister Fēng left as she explained me how uncomfortable she feels when her business partner is around. I noticed before that Mister Fēng is far from seeing her as a business partner. Instead, he says that he is like her uncle. In fact, he is more “attentionate” to her than what my own mother would ever be. He was waiting for her to finish her party to then drive her home. She had to insist a few times for him to leave.

One hour earlier, I had decided to take my shot on the rooftop. Since a few weeks, I have developed a link with Mùzi, subtly showing her my interest. The process was taking too much time from my point of view and I did not know if her absence of reaction was a lack of interest or the distance often played by Asians. To stop the game, I took my chance when we ended up just the two of us to announce her “You know, it’s not because we are going to work together that we should stop seeing each other out of work. If I have been asking you out recently, it’s not to become friends, but more.” I was so pissed at her reaction when she told me that she did not hear what I said. I repeat two other times and still she acts confused. Annoyed, but still happy that I made my move, it will be everything or nothing. She is now coming back from her little Tequila coma and when I leave to salute a friend I notice that three guys are queuing to talk with her. What is she doing to those guys? I hate just being one of them and I will play it distant from now on. Anyway, I took my shot. Soon I see that Robert and one of her female friend are bringing her to the exit. I hurry up and manage to salute her from the top of the stairs she is going down. See you soon. Still drunk, I do not know if she noticed me.

Mùzi gone, I stay a couple of hours more, in a deep conversation with Rachel, the friendly american girl. Between more shots, our conversation ends up on the life as an expat in China. I came here to learn mandarin, she came here to teach English. We are both stuck here, one of the only safe places in the world. She reminds me of an American guy I met during my first solo trip in China more than two years ago. He used to be journalist in the US but then decided to teach English in a small Chinese town. Over a drink he admitted that he would not go back home as long as Trump was president. Also momently stuck. Rachel and I talk about how we have reached a point that we do not care about meeting new friends anymore, as expats come and go. We miss the authenticity of home’s friends, childhood friends. Five months into the pandemic and the most adventurous ones are already changing their views.

The next day I wake up late with a terrible headache. Checking my phone I find a text of Mùzi asking me whether I want to participate in their calligraphy activity in two days. I guess this is to be continued.

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